benjy fenwick is lily evans's evil twin.'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
benjy fenwick is lily evans's evil twin.

&journal +profile +friends +icons +throwing stones !!!
[ userinfo | insanejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | insanejournal calendar ]

010: We meet again! [sun jan 3rd, 2010 »1:39a]
[ mood | drained ]

I don't make New Year's resolutions.

Happy 1979, everyone. If you have any bad memories of the last year left, drink them to oblivion.



65 dance?

009: Where is my mind? [tue dec 29th, 2009 »5:44p]
[ mood | calm ]

Well, now that the holidays and weddings are over, I'm officially wildly in debt. So long as I don't eat for the next month, I should be able to continue paying my half of the rent.

And how is everyone else's buyer's regret?

12 dance?

008: A pretty good year. [wed dec 23rd, 2009 »3:29p]
[ mood | tired ]


So, life's life.
7 dance?

007. MORE WARDS?! [sun dec 13th, 2009 »5:23a]
[ mood | thoughtful ]


Listen, I think it's really important that we go on another date soon.

2 dance?

006. wardy ward ward [fri dec 11th, 2009 »3:29p]
[ mood | grumpy ]


Do you want me to get all disguisey and go to the gala? I can spend a bunch of time with mum beforehand so she'll remind me what forks to use and not to slouch.

I think the best part about being Muggleborn is when you find money on the ground, no matter whose money it is, you know how and where to spend it.
4 dance?

005. Will & grace. [sun dec 6th, 2009 »9:19p]
[ mood | tired ]

Job very interesting lately. Got to photograph a piece about a woman with prize-winning mandrakes. They were very sweet and I expect I'll be able to hear again quite soon. In case you were wondering, The Daily Prophet does not love its photographers enough to shell for earmuffs.

I can barely even afford to drink myself into destitution. My life is a shambles, & such.

The Ministry's policies on who is an evil, evil person continue to amaze. I liked the bit where they arrested the bird with the baking fetish, but now they've got Muggleborns, too! As a Muggleborn, this makes perfect sense to me. I know that every time I'm feeling grumpy about being a discriminated-against party, I like to sabotage the government, because they're just so competent when it comes to fighting the genocidal evil and I don't want them to get complacent, like. That's why He With The Really Dumb Name is in jail and blood purism is totally illegal. Because of the competence.

22 dance?

004. Art class. [wed dec 2nd, 2009 »5:27p]
[ mood | calm ]

23 dance?

003. First public post! [thu nov 19th, 2009 »11:57a]
[ mood | calm ]


58 dance?

001. A kiss with a fist. [mon nov 16th, 2009 »5:16p]
[ mood | grumpy ]


Dear socialites, Ministry wankers, purists closeted and proud, and assorted baddies of the world,

Thank you for your condolences regarding the loss of Alastor Moody. We found your concern particularly moving given the probability of your either having participated in, known about, or endorsed his death. We especially liked the bit where you talked about how important he was. It's almost like you understood that he was essential in the crusade against you. We can only assume that your state of mourning following his passing is a mark of how remorseful you are. We must believe that, waking up today, you realized the error of your ways, and have now reformed, and henceforth will neither aid, abet, or be pleased with the death of law enforcement officials and other general hero types. Recognizing the new leaf that you have so forcefully turned, we have provided a number of options for you to choose from following your reformation:
1. Only half a lifetime in Azkaban, instead of the original full. If you survive it you'll get to stay in the Janus Thickey ward! Maybe your grandchildren will bring you evil sweets.
2. A maximum of three dozen hexes, curses, and generally painful or embarrassing spells at the hands of your enemies. While it won't be easy for us to restrain ourselves, we are all responsible adults here, and promise to leave you with at least half the limbs you arrived with, albeit not entirely in functioning order.
3. Mere disabling of the reproduction system, rather than out-and-out castration. There's no need to be cruel. We just need the job done.

If you could please circle your preferred concession- unfortunately, the provision of hollow comfort is not enough to earn more than one per person, but we will make an effort to provide your first choice where possible- we would be much obliged. We are currently accepting muffin baskets, Firewhiskey, and your funerals as sympathy gifts. Cards will be met with war.

Yours truly,
Benjy Fenwick,
Hero Representative

(That is how to be SUBTLE. With wards. I highly recommend this sort of therapy. I'm feeling much better. Almost up to par enough to make use of reparo.)

69 dance?

000. Born bad. [sat nov 14th, 2009 »6:59p]
and who'd ever dream a child sweet as i seemed would be the source of so much pain and strife? )

[ viewing | most recent entries ]